How To Speak Politician

  It is a good thing I think if you can learn to speak another language. I admit, I have never really tried to learn a new language because I have enough trouble just speaking English. There is however,  a new language it's called politician. I t is very easy to learn. In just a few simple lessons you too,  can speak politician. okay, let's begin, if you get caught in a lie,  never admit it you just learn to say,  you misspoke. Never accuse a fellow politician of lying instead say they were mislead. If you get caught flip flopping on a particular issue, all you have to say is I voted for it, before I voted against it! See how easy it is to speak politician? When you get called to testify if you are asked a convicting question simply take the fifth, or say, I don't recall Remember, you can always use the Steve Martin defense and say, I forgot! If you get caught not keeping a campaign promise, simply say, I was committed to that promise at that time but, times have changed. Here is one of my favorites. If you have to pass a difficult bill and someone wants to know what's in it, simply say, we have to pass the bill to know what's in it.Listen now,  this is really important, if an email or memo says you knew something about an investigation sooner than you already testified to, simply say,  I had the dates mixed up with another investigation. Here's another good one, if you said you served in Vietnam  but records indicate that you didn't simply say,  I heard so many stories about I felt like I was there and got carried away and misspoke.
  I am constantly amazed at the many ways politicians find to lie and get away with it I think it would be a refreshing change if a politician could just tell the truth about anything! I am not surprised when the polls all say congress has bout a thirteen percent approval rating. Frankly, I don't know,  if any politician can be trusted completely, I have one piece of advice if you go to Washington looking for truth, be sure to learn the language. As always, my friends, these thoughts remain, just some words, to think on.